afterthought

i prefer being a no thought over being an afterthought.
afterthoughts tend to remind you of your invisibility;
whereas a no thought just reminds you that humans,
unlike whales and elephants, tend to forget
once in a while. afterthoughts are like steven, who

was overweight, in my 4th grade class, and one of my
best friends. he was an afterthought. you couldn't miss him
in gym class, but he was always picked last. none of the
cool kids wanted him on their team. i always wondered
how he felt. you know. being invisible.
an afterthought. i bet it would have cheered him up

if someone had said, "oh, my god, steven, we didn't even
see you. we just forgot. were you hiding on us?" and then the
two captains got into a big fist fight because both of them wanted
steven on their team. i bet steven would have felt good
being a no thought. no thoughts are important, just temporarily
forgotten. and then there's always the famous no thought versus
afterthought birthdays. with no thought birthdays, the forgetter

can gasp, groan, gargle, or giggle about their stupidity
or hectic-tivity or flake-itude, and this momentary lapse
is readily forgiven by the forgotten. oh, but watch out, if you are
an afterthought on your birthday -- the 11:59 call, the five day late
card, the "ooh, i feel bad; i'll make it up to you" that never happens,
the queasy reminder that your hunch about your funeral is probably
accurate. this makes you want to be eight again when everyone
gave a damn about your birthday: the happy birthday over the

loudspeaker at school, the party, the new huffy bike that you
rode up and down your street, far past reason; the belief that you
are a forethought. yeah, i would much rather be a no thought,
because they're more fun or funny than afterthoughts. with no
thoughts you sleep peaceful, because you don't remember that you
forgot, but afterthoughts ruin sleep, whether you're on the receiving
or giving end. afterthoughts incur anger. you're almost back at the party then you remember that your girlfriend or wife asked you
not to forget the cheese fondue or that special bottle of pinot noir,

and you turn around, head back to the store, cursing that woman,
and cheese and wine and grapes and cows and that stupid party
with all her stupid friends and your controlling boss who kept you
late, because she was too lazy to do her own job, and you curse
the traffic light for turning red, and you shout to everyone and
no one, "i wish i just forgot!".
see? that's an afterthought. just pisses you off. if it were a no thought, you could feel sheepish when your girlfriend or wife gives
you that vicious glare. but you'll both laugh about it later, and she'll
forgive you, because you had a no thought. there is forgiveness

in the disappearance of thought, but no real forgiveness for afterthoughts. you just suck it up and move on. i guess i'm saying
all of this just to tell you, i prefer being a no thought for a day,
rather than some lonely afterthought that squelches sleep. yes, honey, i would rather be a no thought for a day, but just for a day.