I was asked to post one of my poems that I perform during "I am not the Enemy" and sometimes during my show, "You Don't Know Me . . ." This poem was inspired by a girl who battled anorexia. She was about 5'10" and weighed approximately 105-110 lbs. I met her at a poetry reading. Her poems were amazing, a cacophony of pain emblazoned with masked words that concealed truths from her life, so dark, so ominous you would believe that she came out victorious. I wrote this poem after she shared a poem about one of her demons.

Seven Times

Dedicated to all the girls and women who have said no

but were never heard.

He must've not heard me

he must've not heard me

though i said five or six or seven

times

no

And it was true

he did take me to dinner

and he did take me to a play

and it was true too

he paid

he paid

but

He must've not heard me

he must've not heard me

though i said

five

or six

or seven times

no

And upon completion of that play

ovations roared

and i cried tears of happy wonderful joy

and he wished to share the moment with me

on mountains overlooking

seas and cities

and i said "Yes!" most cheerfully

but

He must've not heard me

he must've not heard me

though i said five? or six?

or seven?

times . . . no?

And in his car i took silent pleasure

in tasting the desire held within his mouth

and he savored my excitement as well

however, contentment was not his cousin

and he placed his hands on my breasts

i became surprised,

but i remembered the bumper sticker: keep calm

because to him, he must've felt like the king

recapturing his castle

but when he placed his hands

on my thighs, moving his hands up my legs

towards my castle

i closed my kingdom with awesome strength

to guard what was solely mine to give

and said, "please please, no."

but

He must've not heard me

he must've not heard me

though i said five-or-six-or-seven times

no

And to him he thought i was a tease

and he believed that my no meant yes

but i know my no meant no

but obsession took the best of him

and indentions took the best of me

as he tore apart my panties

unbuckling his belt simultaneously
punching me, punching me, punching me

and forcing himself on me

while forcing himself through me

and "No!" I screamed

(i know i screamed)

but it was already too late

he had already entered through the gate

and i cried a voiceless narration

with the pain of thousands of generations
with the rage and terror

from the grave of every girl and sister and woman
in every nation

and i did say,

No

no no

no no no

no...

and yes

He did take me to dinner

and yes

he did take me to a play

and yes, i wore a short, short skirt

and yes, officer,

i wore a tight, tight top

and yes,

i paid
i paid
i paid

because

 

He must've not heard me

he must've not heard me

though i said five

or

six

god knows

i said

seven

times

No!