Part Three
3rd Installment of my latest
project. I am writing randomized, tiny love letters to many of you who have
shaped me in both great and infinitesimal ways. We are guaranteed nothing,
except death, in this life. Two things I've always hated about funerals: 1. the
excessive accolades given to the dead, 2. the failed response and
awkward silence of the daily departed. I'm
learning a lot from this venture I've commenced. I'm learning what I didn't
know that I didn't know, and I'm learning a lot about people in my life. Lots
of fascinating reactions. I am intrigued by the kaleidoscope of the fabric that
weaves us together.
Today's gratitude I am calling:
A TASTE OF TANIA/TANYA
Tania Alexandra Habenicht, the scene in my head could take place anywhere. Here are the facts. We are in a school auditorium, awaiting the energetic eyes of elementary-age children. We have finished setting our props and catching up with each other. You spot a piano, your eyes glisten, and I get to play the greedy voyeur, devouring with a devilish smile every word and note of some new song that is working through you. In these moments, I do not share all my thoughts with you; I listen. But right now, I want to tell you more. I treasure you, and I cherish the churning and melody that ring so true; the bravery within you to turn your doubts into finger pops of notes. Not only do I get to witness your brilliant ingenuity, but you are a mirror: I see and hear me in you. Our souls' journeys are delirious in their timing. When I entered that sanctum of darkness and confusion, from 2008-2011, your own trek delivered the words befitting of my plea -- "Feeling just a little lost today...Everybody's asking how and I don't have clear answers."...You saved me the first time you played that song to this audience of one. Thank you for all your whirling beauty. You taught me how to listen better to the crazy people, (starting with myself), and now, miraculously, they do not sound so crazy anymore.
Tanya Gluzerman, may you know that our togetherness has brought more light in the space between us than our darkness could ever challenge. You see me clearly: I hide in broad daylight. I see you clearly: You wish to be completely understood...in a people-less world. We are the secret schizoids and I am humbled to be in such good company. When I think about you and all that you have brought to blossom within me, I am reminded of these lyrics by Connor Oberst in his song, "Time Forgot":
"They say everyone has a choice to make
To be loved or to be free
I told you once I felt invisible
And I'm sure by now you see
What I meant is I'm not all there
Until I finally leave
Some loneliness is acceptable
And some's just outright mean
It gets even"
I think we speak the same language, Tonto, and this train that we board together, at times, has made this journey deliciously tolerable.
Today's gratitude I am calling:
A TASTE OF TANIA/TANYA
Tania Alexandra Habenicht, the scene in my head could take place anywhere. Here are the facts. We are in a school auditorium, awaiting the energetic eyes of elementary-age children. We have finished setting our props and catching up with each other. You spot a piano, your eyes glisten, and I get to play the greedy voyeur, devouring with a devilish smile every word and note of some new song that is working through you. In these moments, I do not share all my thoughts with you; I listen. But right now, I want to tell you more. I treasure you, and I cherish the churning and melody that ring so true; the bravery within you to turn your doubts into finger pops of notes. Not only do I get to witness your brilliant ingenuity, but you are a mirror: I see and hear me in you. Our souls' journeys are delirious in their timing. When I entered that sanctum of darkness and confusion, from 2008-2011, your own trek delivered the words befitting of my plea -- "Feeling just a little lost today...Everybody's asking how and I don't have clear answers."...You saved me the first time you played that song to this audience of one. Thank you for all your whirling beauty. You taught me how to listen better to the crazy people, (starting with myself), and now, miraculously, they do not sound so crazy anymore.
Tanya Gluzerman, may you know that our togetherness has brought more light in the space between us than our darkness could ever challenge. You see me clearly: I hide in broad daylight. I see you clearly: You wish to be completely understood...in a people-less world. We are the secret schizoids and I am humbled to be in such good company. When I think about you and all that you have brought to blossom within me, I am reminded of these lyrics by Connor Oberst in his song, "Time Forgot":
"They say everyone has a choice to make
To be loved or to be free
I told you once I felt invisible
And I'm sure by now you see
What I meant is I'm not all there
Until I finally leave
Some loneliness is acceptable
And some's just outright mean
It gets even"
I think we speak the same language, Tonto, and this train that we board together, at times, has made this journey deliciously tolerable.
No comments:
Post a Comment