Dear Saskia:

You are three today, and I want to take this time to say, thanks. Thanks for visiting me in this lifetime, on this strange planet. And though you were not planned, you are far from a mistake; you are purpose manifested. There are a lot of people who say to me, "Isn't crazy how fast those three years went?" And I say, "It didn't go fast. It seems like three years, or maybe longer." These people often look at me as if I'm crazy . . . and they are probably close to the truth, but these are my true thoughts. It does not feel just like yesterday. It feels as if I've lived a good few lifetimes since your birth. Why is this?

I think that people who have the same job, day in and day out, often feel a folding of time. As a maxim, I suppose one could say: if time repeats, time is not unique. Most people are very scheduled, robotic and systematic in their daily meanderings. They basically do the same activities Monday through Friday, and their weekends are no exception. Of course this is often interrupted with the occasional vacation or hospitalization or break-up. If there is anything true about my life, in the last 14 years, it's this: change is my constant.

From one day to the next, my life is appears different. I am in different cities, thinking different thoughts, breathing different air, and trying to live and realize moments. I wish the same for you, my child. Do not be a cog in this machine; march to the drum of your family: Whitman, Sojourner Truth, Thoreau, Dylan, Ruth (as in Biblical character), Cummings, Anthony (as in Susan B.), and on and on. Forget the pace of this wold, dear Saskia, march to your own drum. Most human beings never realize how wonderful life is while they live it. Do not be like most. There are things you know now that you must never forget. There are places you can go that I will never be able to visit . . . not even in my dreams (Khalil Gibran).

You already know that laughter heals. Do not let life nor death take this knowledge from you. Suck the marrow out of life and BE! Never define yourself by the job you do. "Our life is more than our work, and our work is more than our jobs." -- Charlie King -- I have gotten stuck on this as well. People ask me all the time what do I do, as if that question will answer my worth. Fight against this, dear Saskia. Wherever you are right now, is where you are supposed to be right now. But if you choose to be somewhere different in the future, then move towards that mark. Life happens on us, as we happen on life. Make your voice be heard, sweet warrior, precious angel.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You were born before time. Do not allow time to confine your immortality. Breathe God in, for God breathes you in beyond the smallest space of time. Never be afraid of God's vision for your life; it is God who has delivered you to me. God's sense of timing and humor are extraordinary. Bask in it, but be aware of those who want to tell how to think about God; of those people who lock God in heavy chains of limitation. These are not prophets. They are just scared little creatures. Fear not their fear. The original sin was limiting God's vision.

And one other thing. Never stay in a relationship you want no part of, but be cautious of moving too soon. Gleam and grow from the lessons of pain. It is our pain that allows us to see more clearly. White light holds all the colors of the spectrum. Can you see it? For if you fail to see all the colors, you will see nothing but darkness. Do not allow my death to alter the brilliance of this life, of this light. Change is good, as is pain. Remember this: Solid rock is nothing more than sand and water . . . plus time.

I pray for your soul. I pray your soul finds the lesson of the eagle. Soar.

I celebrate this day with you, and long to kiss and hold you.

with breath and love,
Dad