"You can kill the Protester, but you can't kill the Protest." ---

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An Open Letter to the President

Dear Mr. President:

I wanted to write to you because I had some concerns that are not yet present, but I thought you could give me some advice. You see, I have an eight month old daughter who every day seems to be getting stronger and wiser. She is the joy of my life, truly a blessing. I know that I'm jumping the gun, but I started thinking about her future. I started thinking about how I could be the best example of a human being, with all my imperfections, with all my doubts and fears. I think about the questions she may ask me, and I'm not sure what to say. I thought of you, and perhaps what you might say to help me out. You are a leader of a great nation, and you have two daughters who seem to be doing o.k. You were put into office by the will of God, (and apparently by many believers who believe you are the will of God).

Anyway, my daughter's name is Saskia. It's not really American, but you might like the meaning. It means "Protector of her people." What a powerful name, huh? I thought you'd like it. You probably feel like the protector of your people. I bet! I like it too (wink! wink!). What I struggle with, though, is how to direct her towards truth? What do I tell her about equality when we live in a world devised and structured on inequality? How do I tell her that because of her genitilia that she will be considered less than a male? How do I tell her that because of her Daddy's blood running in her veins that so many in the world will hate her? That she'll pass better than her daddy because of her mommy's blood, but still be tainted to many people? That black blood is less than the price of oil (remember Rwanda?)? Rwanda is this almost invisible country in Africa. Not too many people think about it, that's for sure, but I swear, it exists. There are almost a million graveyard voices screaming out to be remembered. But don't worry, Rwanda is not your concern. I'm sure if you were in office you would have done something during the genocide that took place, huh? Send some food? Even pray? I know you would, Mr. President. I am certain of this.

Back to my daughter.

What do I tell her about killing people? I mean how do I make a distinction between our noble war in Iraq and other countries compared to the wars waged in America? The ones between this gang and that gang? The war between the races? The war against homosexuals? The war between the blue and red states? And all the casualties that happen? I mean why is it more noble to kill on foreign land than on our own? Why are gang bangers criminals, but not soldiers? Please don't misunderstand me, I SUPPORT our troops. I REALLY support them. I do, but I feel that my daughter is going to have a difficult time understanding how some murder is o.k. and others are not. It's confusing to me, and I'm an adult! Why is it less evil to shoot someone in the head than cutting off someone's head? Or why do we pretend that war is noble, or there is a nobility in carrying out murder? Or that the justice that happens on American streets between young black or Hispanic boys killing off competition is so much more evil than the "friendly" justice that happens to innocent lives in Iraq or Afghanistan? True, the blacks and Hispanics never really get to own anything, but still, do any of us ever own anything? And like how is the death penalty not murder, if abortion is, wouldn't the death penalty be as well, especially since we know about the innocents who have been put to death. Is that the democracy we want to bring to Iraq? Just wondering. And what is a woman supposed to do? I'm talking about a woman who gets beaten by her husband. Raped by him. Almost killed by him before she strikes back. Isn't that self-defense? The perservation of life? The man's foot who kicks her in the belly when she's pregnant, should not that foot be torn apart? What do I tell my daughter to do if a man ever puts his hand on her? What do I tell her about how the cops don't respond to domestic violence very well. Sure they do on the T.V. show Cops, but that's not the norm. Too many women who are in hiding now to disprove that theory. Is that the answer? Run and hide? How do I teach her how to become an activist? To fight the causes our government won't fight? I need to know, Mr. President. I need some guidance.

How will I tell my daughter who her enemies are? What languages do they speak? What countries do they live in? And with all due respect, please don't say that her enemy is anyone who fights against American freedom. There are plenty of black necks that have been hung by American freedom fighters. Plenty of gays and lesbians who have been victimized by these proud, God-fearing Americans. Who is/are the enemy god(s)? Is it Allah? Shiva? Buddha? HaShem? Christ? Will her enemies bleed like her? Think like her? Will her enemies fear her? Will her enemies be her friends? AM I HER ENEMY? I told you it was confusing. That's why I need a leader who has his ear on the pulse to help me understand. Because I have to be honest with you, I don't like how we've glossed over all the tragedies of this war we are fighting in Iraq. You can be honest with me. There are many children, women and men who have unjustly died by American hands, right? No judgment, if you're honest with me. I just want truth. I mean it's not just those bad terrorists who have stolen lives, or is it? Oh, before I forget, please speak with your impish spokesman/warrior Donald Rumsfeld, because he is screwing things up for you. He recently said that it's not our American troops responsibility to clean up the mess of all those insurgents in Iraq. He said that those insurgents are the responsibility of the Iraqi soldiers. Please let D.R. (I feel like I know him) know that those insurgents were not there before we arrived. I'm sure this was a small oversight on his part, but he is one of your spokesman, and I wouldn't want him to get his facts out of sorts. I'm sure you'll correct this.

What do I tell my daughter about female genital mutilation (FGM)? I'm sure you are aware about how serious a problem this is over in Africa. If not, check up on it: http://www.amnesty.org/ailib/intcam/femgen/fgm1.htm#a1. Be prepared to be disturbed. I'm sure glad that I do not live in Africa. Couldn't stand to know that this procedure might be done to my daughter. But is this really our problem? I mean since it doesn't affect me/us as Americans should I even care? And how much should I care? Would I be noble to educate those primitives? Or would I be justified to make a bigger statement by killing off anyone who performs such torturous acts? I think that would be just as noble as oil or democracy, no?

Or the A.I.D.S. problem? And we can't just blame it on the gays anymore. I know how much that must stink for some of your supporters, but what can we do? The facts are the facts. And so you can feel the importance of it. It's not just an African thing. It's a problem right here on our own soil. The fastest growing numbers are found in married heterosexual women. I know how much this information must bother some of your moralizers, but I just wanted you to be informed. I want to be able to give my daughter hope, not fear.

Whew! These sure are tough questions. Now you know why I needed your help in the first place. I hope you get the time to respond to me, because I have a funny little feeling that you know the answer to some of my concerns. There are other questions too, but maybe I should wait for your reply. I know you are a busy man, but I hope this gets to you. Just have some of your faithful keep an eye on me and they will see this letter, and then they can alert you . . . of my concern. I love my country, and I am a proud patriot . . . of this world. You see, I don't think that it's fair for God to bless [just] America. I think God should bless all. Don't you agree? Afterall, it's upon this principle why the founding fathers were able to steal, murder and rape this land away from the Native Residents before they were known as Americans. So, let's start practicing that mantra: God Bless All. It's catchy like: 4 MORE YEARS.

Well, I don't want to take up any more of your time, because I know you are a busy man. I just wanted to get your input. So, I thank you even before your response. I am sure you will answer when you have a moment to breathe. I send you prayers and laughter, Mr. Prez. (I know that was a little informal, but you seem to be a down-to-earth kinda guy. I was almost tempted to say, "Rock on!" But I thought better of it.)

Sincerely,

Dr. Michael Fowlin

I am not the enemy, part 5

open season starts every spring
when the weather gives way to warmer thoughts and winter’s end
and the prey: laughing girls and tanning women
show less to show more.
they market the latest diet pills:
chewable outfits of anorexia
darting their eyes with the confidence of insecurity
hoping to catch his attention, her envy.
she will sell her soul for this love, this consideration
for she is convinced that glass slippers do not crack.
so on with the implants, the stilted fitted shoes,
the thick red perfumed breath of bulimia
the I’m-really-like-smarter-than-this-like-dumb-act-you-know,
that she titters for him
for this is open season
and she is prey
and prey run wild,
hunted for food, for sport
and the prey prays for solstice, a lover, a friend
never quite realizing that between the sheets
she is being gutted by the enemy
once again.

This is what happens when you stay up past 4am. it is now 4:15 Saturday morning and I will not go to sleep tonight. I give you a big cheesy grin! Because, "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"
Picture Dis Homey

so frustrated. i saw Hotel Rwanda last night. i am very frustrated and disturbed. disturbed because of man's inhumanity towards man. awful. people who believe that the clan to which you belong solely defines you as a person is so strange to me. the scent of this ignorance is offensive to the nostril of the He-and-She. i watched in this movie men hacking up little children with intentions of wiping out an entire race. i've thought that we've evolved from those silly, pre-historic, Biblical days. the days when entire nations were killed because "it was God's will."



I was just disturbed that we as human beings can place so little value on humanity. Awful.



I walked out of the theatre last night feeling much like the tee-shirt I saw today in Hot Topic: I'm losing faith in humanity one person at a time.



I was frustrated by the movie, because the black life is worthless to so many people across this world. no one did anything to save the Watutsi lives from being massacred by the Hutus. the UN -- silent. the great war waging USA -- silent. other nations, with one exception of a Belgium man, -- silent! I am so tired of my skin being Enemy number one, not worth the price of oil. I wonder if Rwanda had something of value for the American government would they not have become involved. Why are we, as Americans, only interested in helping if it serves our interest? Doesn't the bloodshed of innocent children reach us? I was so disturbed by a line in the movie last night. A white UN sergeant was trying to get this black hotel manager to understand what was happening. He told the hotel manager that there would be no help. When the hotel manager asked why the sergeant said, "Because you're black. You're not even a nigger. You're worse than a nigger. You're an African." I felt like weeping.



Why are blacks hated so much? I don't understand. There is a worldwide hatred of blacks. In prison, to be a part of the Aryan Brotherhood you have to kill a black inmate. In Chinese, they have a specific derogatory term for black, though blacks have not had much contact with the Chinese. And I'm not talking about American Chinese, I'm talking about over in China. I had a friend from Puerto Rico who was not allowed to date black people because her parents wanted her with a Puerto Rican. However, when I asked if her parents would mind if she dated someone white, she said 'no.' Then I asked her if she could date a black Puerto Rican, and again, she paused, and said, 'No. My parents think they are beneath me." Growing up, I saw myself abandoned by "friends" if I were too much in their world.



I watched in America how the Rwanda massacre was down-graded to tribal warring. How genocide turned into casualities of tribal warring. How we as a worldwide community abandoned the children! Yet, we are so vocal about remembering 9/11, so gunho about killing Iraqis, ridding the world of "that" evil dictator.



I was so angry at myself for not doing anything. Of being aware of the happenings in the Congo and never doing a thing about it. I want to strip myself away from myself. I want my life to be a testament. Death holds no fear to me. I want to pursue the healing of this world, without a care for my life. It's so much more difficult now, with a wife and child, but the scent has rang like sulfur in nostrils of our Creator. What do we wait for?

Movies! I haven't talked about movies and I'm a movie guy. I love movies. I prefer independent films. I have a large collection, over 1000 VHS and DVDs. A little obsessive, I know, but hey . . . it's better than drugs. I'm surprised that I haven't talked about movies at all. Well, I can't just pick out my favorites, so I'll start with movies that have had a tremendous impact on me.



Foreign

The Celebration. Rated 'R'. Warning: Very Disturbing. This is a Danish film. It uses jumpy camera shots to give the viewer a sense of its chaos. The storyline: A birthday celebration for this family patriarch. As with all parties, things don't go as planned. Small stuff at first, but as the movie progresses, you discover the hidden agendas of those who seem the most stable at first. Family secrets revealed or charged. Unspoken topics . . . spoken. Not a recommended movie for your Hollywood movie fans. Will not walk away feeling very chipper.



I enjoyed this movie because it stirred and disturbed me. I look for that in a movie. Does this movie make me feel? . . . not just lovey dovey or happy emotions. I want to be disturbed and challenged. I want to be changed. I recommend this movie to the adventurous spirit or the art house fan.



To Live. Rated 'NR'. This movie stars one of my favorite actresses, Gong Li. She is phenomenal in this movie. The movie takes you from 1940s China into the 1960s. It's about a peasant Chinese family trying to overcome the pressures of poverty and the Chinese communism regime. Gong Li's character, her husband, and two children experience many hardships and setbacks throughout the movie, but in the end pull strength in their ability to just live. It sounds simple, but the profound art of living is an artistry. The film was initially banned in China, as was Gong Li and her co-star for two years. This is certainly one of my all-time favorites, beyond a doubt.



Antonia's Line. Rated 'R'. Here's a summary from Amazon.com.:

"To a small Dutch town filled with characters known by such names as Crooked Finger, Loony Lips, and the Mad Madonna, Antonia returns with her daughter Danielle after 20 years away. Covering the next 40 years, Antonia's Line looks at the matriarch and her offspring, stretching out to her great-granddaughter, Sarah. A whimsical story with fairy-tale conventions, this movie deals with the cyclical nature of time as well as the strength of women. While this is not just a "woman's movie," men are regulated to the background in a story that tells of women breaking free of traditional roles. Surprisingly, this movie achieves a light-hearted tone while tackling serious subjects: small-town prejudices, rape, and suicide. Yet the drama's comedic heart shines through as Antonia collects a rather odd assortment of people, outsiders who become part of her extended family."



I enjoyed this movie when I saw it years ago. I saw it when it was in the movie theatres in '96. I love this movie because it is able to achieve what I so desperately try to do in my own shows, mix humor with tragedy. There are plenty of people who have a difficult time doing this, because it causes an internal conflict for them. It doesn't for me. I love when I talk about suicide in my show and have people crying then in the next instance laughing their guts off. It's a rush. It was C.S. Lewis who, after losing his wife to cancer, said, "The pain I feel now is a part of the happiness I felt then [when she was alive]." But not all people can grasp or embrace this concept. I have a good friend who was befuddled as to why I would wish prayers and laughter upon another friend of mine who had just lost her grandmother. This good friend of mine couldn't understand how wishing laughter would not be perceived as disrespectful. What he couldn't understand was that the memories that we have of a loved one, the laughter, the smiles, the tears, the journey are all a part of the sadness we feel when death arrives. Antonia's line achieves great levity in the face of sadness, because emotions such as happiness and sadness are not polar opposites but are knitted colors of a beautiful mosaic, reflecting the spectrum of human emotions. Antonia's line gracefully tells its story in this manner.

Well, that's it for now. I will review and recommend some more movies another time.

peace.